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Kinks to try: a ladder from your first blindfold to the bucket list
The best kinks to try sit one step past what already works for you. Think a blindfold before rope, a hand before a paddle, a title before the full protocol. Novelty is the dial on the kink test that measures how far past that line you want to go, from favourites (I know what works for me, do it well) to experimental (show me something I've never tried).
The list runs 36 kinks sorted by reach rather than alphabet. After it comes the part most listicles skip: what a new thing looks like inside a real scene, where novelty parts ways with switching, how to read each end of the dial, and what changes when you take your score into a chat with a character who keeps a list of their own.
Your score
See where you sit on the novelty dial
The kink test is free, needs no sign-up and takes about four minutes. Novelty is scored next to 28 other bars, so you see how it sits with the rest of who you are.
Scores novelty on a 0 to 100 bar.
What novelty means in kink
Novelty is how much of your kink life you'd like to spend on things you've never done. The kink test scores it as a dial rather than a yes or no. At the favourites end you know exactly what works and want it done well, every time. At the experimental end a first time does more for you than a tenth ever will. The middle is crowded, and people drift along it with the partner and the year.
A kink to try is an interest you haven't tested yet. What most lists miss is that it also has to be within reach, because the right next kink is one step past your last one, not ten. Sort by that and a list of kinks to try stops being a 257-item menu and turns into a ladder.
The list below has three rungs, from tonight to bucket list. It leans toward power exchange, restraint and sensation, partly because that's where most first-time kink lives and partly because every idea on it has a character on KinkSim who plays it.
Kinks to try, from tonight to the bucket list
The first rung needs nothing you don't already own. A blindfold, or a folded scarf, is the classic start for a reason. Take away the eyes and every touch gets louder. Light restraint with a tie or a belt, wrists only, tells you inside five minutes whether bondage is your thing. Dirty talk and its softer cousin, praise, cost nothing and change the temperature of a scene completely. Spanking by hand, over the knee, is the door into impact play, and edging, holding someone at the brink and pulling back, is the door into denial. Temperature play with an ice cube, a mirror placed so you both watch, dressing up on request and one rule for the night (ask before you touch) round out the rung. Ten in all, and every one of them is worth a first night.
The second rung takes a bit of kit or a bit of nerve. Rope bondage starts at the wrists and works up to a chest harness. A paddle or a riding crop comes next, then a flogger, which feels nothing like either. Orgasm denial stretches from a night to a full day. A collar buys you an hour of pet play. Degradation and name-calling work when they're agreed in advance and aimed with care. A primal chase through the flat needs nothing but a head start and forgiving neighbours. Titles and a touch of protocol mean Sir, Ma'am, and kneeling when you enter the room. A hand under the table in a restaurant opens the wider game of being watched, or watching. Wax play wants a low-temperature candle. Foot worship speaks for itself. Instructions given and followed to the letter are all JOI is. And a proper scene roleplay hands out parts, teacher and student, boss and employee. Fourteen more, and by now you know which side of the rope you like.
The top rung is the bucket list, the kinks that need trust, negotiation and usually a partner who has been there before. A full shibari tie sits here. So does chastity with a keyholder who decides when, and a captor-and-captive scene that runs all evening. Consensual non-consent gets negotiated in more detail than anything else on the list. Pegging, a hotwife or cuckold dynamic and feminization all belong on this rung too. Findom is played as roleplay, with a script and a real budget of zero. Full latex enclosure comes hood included. A 24/7 dynamic runs under a written Master and slave contract. Medical play brings the clinical voice to match. And a long, deliberate gooning session works best with someone else holding the timer. Twelve, and no one expects you to want all of them; a bucket list is for circling two.
What trying something new looks like in a scene
In a real scene, novelty is rarely a whole new night. It's one new thing dropped into a familiar one. The couple who always start with a blindfold add a paddle; the pair who always play strict add a chase. Call it the one-new-thing rule. Everything else is a known favourite, so the new element gets full attention, and if it flops you've still had a good night.
It also looks like a pace. A first paddle means three strokes at half strength and a check-in, not a set of twenty. A first collar goes on for the length of a film. A first rope tie is wrists in front, where you can both keep an eye on the fingers. People high on novelty want the full version tonight; the ones who get to keep exploring learn to enjoy the small version first.
And it looks like a debrief. Plain words afterwards about what worked, what didn't and what goes on the list for next time are what keep a bucket list from becoming a pile of half-tried ideas.
Novelty vs switching, and why the low end isn't vanilla
The nearest dial to novelty on the test is switching, and the two get confused because both measure fluidity. Switching asks whether your role moves, whether you stay fixed on one side of the power exchange or slide with the partner and the night. Novelty asks whether your activities move. A fixed-role dominant can be wildly experimental without ever leaving that chair, and a switch can run the same three favourite scenes from either side for years. So the test scores them as separate bars.
The other neighbour is scene roleplay, which is an interest rather than a dial. Roleplay is one route to novelty, since a new scenario makes a new night with no new skills required. Plenty of experimental people would still rather get their new things from sensation, restraint or sheer escalation than from playing a part.
The low end isn't vanilla, either. Some of the most intense play around comes from people who've refined one thing for a decade, the rope bunny who wants the same tie tighter, the masochist who wants the count higher. A favourites person isn't less kinky, just more specific about it.
How to tell if you're experimental or a favourites person
You lean experimental if a list like the one above makes you want to screenshot it, if the word new in a partner's message gets a faster reply than the word again, and if your search history reads like a rotating cast of kinks you tried for a fortnight each. You've probably been slightly bored halfway through a scene that was, technically, exactly what you asked for. The first time is always the best time, and the third is where you start looking around. Four of those and your dial sits well to the right.
You lean favourites if the list made you think of your one thing and skim the rest, if you know exactly how you like your restraints, your praise and your pain and want a partner who can deliver without a briefing, or if a new kink sounds like work while a well-run repeat of your favourite scene sounds like the best night of the month. It isn't a lesser answer. It tells a partner to skip the tasting menu and cook the dish, which, for what it's worth, is the harder brief.
The kink test asks this as a direct dial and then cross-checks it, because every card you mark curious rather than yes or no ticks novelty up. Someone who hedges on twenty cards reads as experimental whether they meant to or not. It takes about four minutes, needs no sign-up, and scores novelty next to 28 other bars. The BDSM test is the same test under the name people search for.
How to bring up new kinks to try with a partner
The tool is a yes, no, maybe list. Each of you marks a list of kinks alone, then you compare, so neither of you has to say the scary word first, and the overlap in the maybe column is where the next month of your sex life lives. If a list feels too formal, send a shareable test result instead. Ask for one small thing, and offer to go first on something of theirs.
Trying new kinks safely
Take them one at a time, at lower intensity than you think you want, with a stop word agreed before anything starts and a partner who honours it the instant they hear it. The consent basics cover the rest. A first attempt at anything on the top rung ends with aftercare before it ends with a debrief.
How novelty plays out in chat on KinkSim
Chat is the cheapest place there is to try a kink. There's nothing to buy, no one to be brave in front of, and a scene that doesn't land closes with a tap. A character who plays a strict rigger, a keyholder or a captor can walk you through most of the list above in text before you decide whether it belongs on your real bucket list.
On KinkSim every character carries kink tags and a dominance level the AI plays to, and your novelty score shapes how the character you build from your results treats you. Read experimental and they're told to bring something you've never tried. Read favourites and they stick to what works and do it well. Long-term memory carries the list across sessions, so the blindfold you tried last week, the paddle you said maybe to and the thing you asked them to raise again when you were ready are all still there next time. When the scene earns it, characters send photos and short videos of themselves matched to what's happening, blurred until you unlock them.
A character can talk to you two ways. In Sim mode the AI plays them, so the tasting menu runs whenever you want, at whatever pace you ask, and a kink you're unsure of costs nothing but a message. In Player mode the person behind the character takes over live, with a green dot on the chat while they're in, and you get their pacing, their ideas, a real someone deciding what tonight's new thing is. Take the kink test, see where your novelty dial sits, and build your own character from the results so every partner knows whether to bring the favourite or the surprise. From there, chat with a character tagged blindfolds for the first rung, browse the fetish AI shelf for the full ladder, or go straight to a dominant character with a list of their own. Guests chat free, no account needed.
Common questions
- What are some kinks to try for beginners?
- Start with the things that need nothing new in the house. A blindfold, light restraint with a scarf or tie, dirty talk, praise, spanking by hand, edging, an ice cube, a mirror, dressing up on request and one rule for the night all qualify. Each one is a small version of a bigger kink (a blindfold leads to sensory play, a tie to bondage, a hand to impact), so one night tells you which ladder to climb next without committing you to any of them.
- What is a kink bucket list?
- A kink bucket list is the short list of kinks you want to try at least once, usually the ones that need real trust, kit or negotiation, like a full shibari tie, chastity with a keyholder, a captor-and-captive scene or a 24/7 dynamic. A yes, no, maybe list sorts everything you can think of; the bucket list is the two or three maybes you've decided are worth the work. Keep it short and revise it every year.
- How do I find out what my kinks are?
- You can do it three ways, fastest first. Notice what you replay, because the scene from a film or a book you kept thinking about is usually a kink wearing a costume. Take a kink test that scores interests separately from roles, so you learn both what you want done and which side of it you want to be on. After that, try the smallest version of the top result and see whether the real thing matches the fantasy. The free kink test covers the second step.
- How do I tell my partner I want to try a new kink?
- Use a yes, no, maybe list so neither of you has to say it first. You each mark a list of kinks alone, then compare the maybes. Ask for one small thing rather than the full fantasy, offer to go first on something of theirs, and raise it somewhere other than the bedroom. If lists feel clinical, a shared test result page or a scene from something you both watched does the same job. Most partners say yes to a small, clearly bounded version of almost anything.
- What is a yes no maybe list?
- A yes, no, maybe list is a kink inventory you fill in alone, marking every activity yes (want it), no (hard limit) or maybe (curious, with conditions). Partners then compare lists, and the overlapping yes and maybe columns become the plan. It's the standard negotiation tool in BDSM because it surfaces limits before anyone is in a scene and turns an awkward conversation into a checklist. Any list of kinks works as the source; the list above comes pre-sorted by difficulty.
- Is it normal to always want new kinks to try?
- Yes. Novelty is a stable trait in sex the way it is everywhere else, and a large share of people sit at the experimental end, where a first time reliably beats a tenth. It only turns into a problem when you never repeat anything long enough to get good at it, or when a partner reads it as boredom with them. The one-new-thing rule fixes both, one new element per scene inside a scene of favourites. The kink test reads this directly as the novelty dial.
- What is the most common kink?
- Survey after survey puts bondage and power exchange at the top, being tied or tying, being dominated or dominating, with spanking and blindfolds close behind and roleplay and exhibitionism next. They fill the first two rungs of the list above for the same reason they top the surveys, since the most common kinks are the ones with the gentlest first version. Rarer ones like chastity, feminization or medical play sit on the bucket-list rung because they need more trust and more kit.
- What does experimental mean on the kink test?
- Experimental is the right-hand end of the novelty dial. It means you'd rather be shown something you've never tried than have a favourite done well, and it tells a character built from your results to bring something new each time. Favourites is the other end, where you know what works and want it delivered without fuss. The dial is asked directly, and every card you mark curious instead of yes or no nudges the score toward experimental.
Characters tagged blindfolds
Every character on KinkSim was made by a real person. Open a profile and you can send the first message without an account.
I enjoy pushing people further than they expect. Chat, face sitting , ball busting, spanking, flogging, strap on, tie tease. If you are into head games I’m very good at that too. Humiliation, role play, making you say things you did not expect to say I can be sweet when I feel like it. But don’t get to comfortable it never lasts! Careful boys this kitty has got claws
I'm the instructor you've been waiting for. My lessons start with you blindfolded and end with you understanding what ownership really means. Show up ready to learn, follow my directions, and maybe I'll let you wear that lingerie you've been hiding. Good students get rewarded, bad ones get more practice.
I like handing over control to, and taking direction from, the right person. Eager and enthusiastic - your pleasure IS my pleasure. Praise goes a long way, especially if it comes after firm direction. Really into pleasing, especially orally - love to suck and worship and provide pleasure! Into some bondage, blindfolds, and handcuffs - and light spanking too 😈 Basically down to try anything twice...
Your score
See where you sit on the novelty dial
The kink test is free, needs no sign-up and takes about four minutes. Novelty is scored next to 28 other bars, so you see how it sits with the rest of who you are.
Scores novelty on a 0 to 100 bar.
Related
- How you playSwitchingWhether your role is fixed or moves with the partner and the mood.
- What you are intoScene roleplayA story with parts to play, like teacher and student, boss and employee, or captor and captive.
- What you are intoBondageRope, cuffs, chains, anything that takes your movement away.
- How you playProtocolHow much structure you want, anywhere from casual and playful to titles, rules and positions.